The day i felt something inside me..
That was the last week of june 2014 when i started feeling so many changes inside me .tge whole day i used to pass on google in searching the details about the caring tips in first timester of pregnancy. i was supposed to be pregnant this month n eagerly waiting the day i ll miss my period.i was feeling happy all the time i was lost in my thoughts whole day i started knitting my dreams about my pregnancy n about my unborn baby.i wanted to tell my husband about my changes but i was afraid as so manytimes my feelings changed into tears.two years had been passed to our marriage but still we were two .relatives family members were started to ask about our plan to become parents.we were also getting serious about it ..but this month i was geting changed ...yes yes the pregnancy symptoms guys ....i did not tell abyting to anyone.i remember it was last week of june and i woke up early morning and rushed to rest room with the pregnancy tester preganews in my hand as i heard we should test it with the first urnie...now i my eyes were brighten i was looking at the strip for the result ...my heartbeat was hitting my heart n Finaly i noticed a light pink line with the dark one n jumped n smiled .yes i m pregnant .....tht was the feeling tht i can never explain.i came in my room with strip n kissed my husband n told him all about this test n shown the strip to him he was not able to say anythng n just hugged me tight....i wanted to shout loudly i wanted to tell everyone who tont me in these two years ...i told my mother in law n took her ashirwad.i wanted to announce in my mothers family as they were also waiting for this news n i called my mom .she was already going to twmple tht time n after this news she wanted to thank the god than i called my elder sister but my jiju connected the call n took my all sisters on confrence ...all were congratulating me .i was in heaven that day ..i realised how special this feeling is ...i clicked so many photoes with my husband n tht strip also to keep in my memories..
But again i was broken on 1st july 2014 when i felt tht i am loosing my pregnancy ....doctor advised me to take full bed rest ...i was praying to god to not to took my hope away...3 days were passed but still i was geting spoted .i was loosing hope now n getting mentaly disturbed all my knitted dreams were getting faded ...my happiness was getting changed into sorrow.i went through all test n after altrasound on 15th july doctor told me tht my baby is not growing anymore and i hve infection inside so i should abort it...what? My eyes were opened ...howcan i abortmy baby for whom i was waiting for so long .i wanted to cry infront of doctor but i heard about me tht i m very strong girl n the strong girl can not cry infront of anyone....now tommorow i ll loose my baby now again i will be single ...now again i ll not feel any change ....tommorow the doctor will take my baby away....my night passed in these thoughts.it was 10 am whn a nurse took me in a room with her n injucted in my hand n connect a bottel with it ...thn after an hour doctor came and gave me an injection i was afraid ..doctor noticed my nervesness n said not to worry its easy....
She was in my feet side with so many Tools i was crying in heart ...dnt knw what is going to be happen with me...i was going to experience a worst chapter of life.i asked the doctor to wait untill i get fainted as injection was not working on me but she ignored me and started hurting me inside i was in my sence n was feeling all the tools inside me i was shouting to stop all this but slowly slowly i loosed my sence ...i could here what the doctor was talking to my husband .he was asking when i get back to home ...and he came to me also he asked me whether i want To go home or want to sleep here ...but i was not able to speak ....then i felt i am in the car n after 15 minuted i found my self with my mother in my law in my bed room.i was totaly out of sence dnt knw tht was only the pain given by doctor or pain given by god too.i was out if sencs coz of medicine or by loosing my baby....i did not want to live anymore i was feeling culprit ...i was not able to look in to my families eyes...n on 16th july 2014 i lost my those changes i was feeling for so long...i lost my hope ...i lost my happiness i lost my dreams ...life was aimless but my husband was standing holding my hand.he supported me he cared me n tried to help me to over come from this pain.now its going to be 4 yeARS to my marriage and still i m waiting for tht good news ...i hope my dreams will come true very soon..
टिप्पणियाँ
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आपकी टिप्पणी बहुत महत्वपूर्ण है